12.19.2003

Jimmy Fallon interviews Paris Hilton

Here's an excerpt from a recent Weekend Update, where Jimmy Fallon interviews Paris Hilton. Enjoy (any resemblance to an actual episode of SNL is purely coincidental, so don't sue me NBC):

Jimmy Fallon: Thanks for coming on.

Paris Hilton: It's nice to be here.

Jimmy Fallon: Uh, as we agreed, we won't be discussing the scandal, uh.. that's been in the papers the past couple of weeks, alright?

Paris Hilton: Thank you, Jimmy. I appreciate that.

Jimmy Fallon: We just want to find out about you - Paris Hilton. Okay. So, your family - I don't know if a lot of people know it - the Hiltons - they own hotels all over the world, right?

Paris Hilton: Yes, they're in New York, London, Paris..

Jimmy Fallon: Oh, wait - so there actually is a Paris Hilton?

Paris Hilton: Yes, there is.

Jimmy Fallon: [ his set-up secure, begins the "real" interview ] Is it hard to get into the Paris Hilton?

Paris Hilton: Actually, it's a very exclusive hotel - no matter what you've heard.

Jimmy Fallon: Uh, I-I-I hear the Paris Hilton is very beautiful.

Paris Hilton: I'm glad that you've heard that.

Jimmy Fallon: Uh.. do they allow double-occupancy at the Paris Hilton?

Paris Hilton: No.

Jimmy Fallon: Is the Paris Hilton roomy?

Paris Hilton: It might be for you.. but.. most people find it very comfortable.

Jimmy Fallon: Well, I-I-I-I'm a VIP, alright? I might need to go in the back entrance.

Paris Hilton: It doesn't matter who you are - it's not going to happen.

Jimmy Fallon: Okay, now, uh.. I throw a lot of events. Uh, do they have a ballroom there?

Paris Hilton: We do.

Jimmy Fallon: Great! I'd love to have my balls held by the Paris Hilton. It sounds awesome! I'd actually like to, uh.. I'd like to check in to the Paris Hilton.

Paris Hilton: I don't think you can.

Jimmy Fallon: Really? Because.. really.. I'd only be able to stay there, like, a minute - minute and a half, or something.. two minutes, tops. I mean --

Paris Hilton: Good luck.

Jimmy Fallon: Paris Hilton, everybody! For Weekend Update, I'm Jimmy Fallon!

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