Best of Right Now

--Best Song Right Now: Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
--Best Season Finale Right Now: 24
--Best Shoe Selling Reverend Right Now: DJ/Rev. Run from Run DMC
--Best Reason to Stay Inside Right Now: Ciccadas (second place: nonspecific threat warnings from Ashcroft)
--Best Movie You've Never Seen Right Now: The Cooler
--Best Actor who uses his middle initial in his name Right Now: William H. Macy
--Best Murray Brother Right Now: Brian Doyle-Murray
--Best Movie to see this weekend right now: Saved!
--Best Suprisingly Funny Movie Right Now: Welcome to Mooseport
--Best Commercial Right Now: The ads for Reno 911 featuring "911 is a Joke"
--Best Naval Vessel Right Now: USS Trenton

any additions?? comment at will

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The Brilliance of Conan O'Brien

I am constantly astounded by the brilliance of Conan O’Brien. Now, some of you may think that Conan (for the past few years, especially since Andy left) has been simply “phoning it in,” but that’s simply not the case. O’Brien constantly comes up with funny material that is often a little bit skewed, which may, to the untrained observer, seem as if he’s just rehashing old material. I think he’s taking what he’s learned over ten years and is retooling and creating something totally new and original. For example, he took the completely mundane merger of two corporate giants, the notoriously unfunny “Walker Texas Ranger” television show, and a lever and turned them into the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. True, it’s getting a tad old, but I laugh every time he yanks that lever…every time. [Click Here to Read More]

Better in Graphic Form

Look. You can make all the jokes you want about how George W. Bush is a former coke head, or about how Conservatives are the closest thing to Nazi's since the Nazis, but it's always funnier in graphic format [Click Here to Read More]

Controversy, or an excuse to consume

Right now, I'm swimming in the warm ocean of uninterrupted reading. There's little entertainment value on TV, I do not have a job yet, and most of my friends are busy during the day. So, that leads to lots of fun reading.
So today, I started reading The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown, and it is very good so far. But, I began reading the book at the Cathedral in Richmond (why was I there? inquiring minds want to know), and had several people say to me "oh, Da Vinci Code, I hear that book is very controversial." That struck me as odd, as if there was nothing else noteworthy about the book than the fact that it ruffled a few feathers.
The entire controversy around The Da Vinci Code is fueling its sales (I think it’s still the #1 Fiction book on the NYT list), and this leads to an interesting phenomenon: People will read/view/see something solely because of the controversy. Go back through recent memory: The Passion of the Christ. Sound familiar? Wasn’t it an extremely controversial movie that led to huge box office business with a swirl of media coverage around it? People have an infinite desire to be in on something, or “to know what all the fuss is about.” It makes you wonder if the movies and books you are reading and watching irrespectively are chosen because of their merits or because you wanted to see what all the hubbub was about.
Then again, reading a controversial book is a fun way to prove people wrong. In high school, some Conservative Christian felt that the novel The Chocolate War should be banned from school because he was offended by the rampant adult themes in the book. So, being the haber-dasher (I have no idea what that means) that I am, I read the so called offensive book and found out that it was a tremendous book that I thoroughly enjoyed. In fact, save for a few swear words, I couldn’t find anything to offensive about it, except for a warning about the dangers of conformity. I wonder if our buddy the Conservative Christian was afraid of that message. Wouldn’t want that one to get out.
So, before we all run off to check out the new shiny controversy, hang back a minute. Check it out, wait for it to go on sale, and then dive into it. The savings will add up.
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news and pews

Attention CTR fans. Beknowst to some of you, CrossTown Rival has been on a 2 month hiatus, and here's what the band has been up to in that time. the guitarist took up soap carving, and now has a life-like scuplture of a Marshmellow Peep in his living room. the bassist started on the anti-Atkins diet, where one eats nothing but bread, pasta, and flax, and has began studying mythology. the drummer got a haircut.
But now, this hiatus is over, and the boys are back playing live gigs. They'll be appearing at Pete's Sweatshop in Bethany Beach this Saturday at 8 PM, with Endotastic opening for them. Tickets 8 bucks in advance, 10 bucks at the door. Remember, Pete's Sweatshop is in the back of the Miller Mart off of 7th street, so if you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far.

In non-CTR news, I'm still looking for a job. So, if you know of one, lemme know.

HOT NEWS UPDATE: Some of you have requested them, and that request is going to be answered! The profiles of each excessively interesting member of CrossTown Rival are in the final polishing stages, and will be ready soon. Don't touch that dial! [Click Here to Read More]

a message from Kate Hudson

Unbeknownst to me, a lot of A-list Hollywood celebrities love checking in on the CrossTownRival site, hoping that the band will make an appearance out west. One of those is Kate Hudson, and she wanted me to pass along this message to you, the reader:

Hi y'all, I’m Kate Hudson. You may remember me from the film Almost Famous, where I played (with some critical acclaim, I might add) the role of mythical groupie Penny Lane. Unfortunately, however, you may also remember me from such excruciatingly bad films such as How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days or Alex and Emma. I know what most of you are asking yourselves, “What went wrong? You were so good in Almost Famous, and then your career took a turn like Billy Joel driving into a suburban home. Why, Kate, Why?”
Friends, I made a series of bad choices that lead to this point. One, after making Almost Famous, I married rock and roll has-been weed freak Chris Robinson (bad choice #1). Next, I chose to conceive his child, carry it in my womb, and produce it after 9 months (bad choice # 2, 3, 4). Just a note, I’m not against all people having children, just those who made the album “Shake Your Moneymaker.” Finally, I turned down the role of MARY JANE *&*@&*# WATSON in Spiderman to be in the movie The Four Feathers. Rumor has it that Four Feathers was a pretty good movie. Lotta famous people were in it. Who knows what happened.
Friends, my new film is Raising Helen, a bad movie with a horrible message. I want to break out of this vicious cycle of horrible movies, but I need your help. Please Help Me, You Are My Only Hope. Thank You.


Love,
Kate Hudson.
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I've been told its a good way to go

What would the obituary say: "He loved horses"
Man bitten to death by excited horse. [Click Here to Read More]

I I only was...

While walking down a crowded
City street the other day,
I heard a little urchin
To a comrade turn and say,
"Say, Chimmey, lemme tell yous;
I'd be happy as a clam
If I only was de feller dat
Me mudder t'inks I am.
"She t,inks I am a wonder,
An' she knows her little lad
Could never mix wit' nuttin'
Dat was ugly, mean or bad.
Oh, lot o' times I sit and t'ink
How nice 'twould be, gee whiz!
If a feller was de feller
Dat his mudder t'inks he is."

Happy Mother's Day [Click Here to Read More]

Feel the New Hotness

It's graduation day, and I am not graduating. But Matt's family is giving him a party, with barbecue chicken, and thus I am still here. A while back, I wrote a graduation speech for when I graduate, so look for that next week once I get home and have time to type it up. Also, does anyone know of any employment oppurtunities for the summer? [Click Here to Read More]

Exam Week Redux

This post look familiar? it should. This appeared in Cross Town Rival last December...and I felt that it should appear again.

Well, I've noticed I use the word "well" a lot to start sentences. From now on, I will try to use other words to start sentences, such as the, a, or damn.

It's the end of the semester. By now you've had this conversation ten times, and if not, use this handy dandy guide to converse with your roommate.

1: Hi
2: Hi
1: (insert comment on how many exams and/or papers remaining). How many do you have left.
2: (insert comment with a higher number of exams and/or papers remaining). But I also had a (insert number higher than 5) page paper due Monday.
1: Oh that's nothing. I had a (insert number higher than 7) page paper due, with (something else, preferably a presentation).
2: Did you sell your books back?
1: Yeah, only got (number higher than 50) back for them.
2: that's nothing. When I returned my books, then took them from me, shoved me down the stairs, and sat on my head.

You see, don't think your situation is special. Everyone is busy with exams. Everyone is getting ripped off by the bookstore. Just think. In a week you'll leave your respective colleges/universities and return home to a land limited sexual options and house work. So relish the time you have....someday, you'll have to get a real job. Peace and Love.
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